The title of this blog is no longer as accurate as it used to be. I stopped being a semi-truck driver in March of 2012. Now, though, I am back at work driving. Not a semi-truck this time, but a box truck. I work now as a delivery driver for a large home improvement store, that for the sake of anonymity we shall call Frank. Shortly after getting a job at Frank, I realized that there were many things in my experience working there that amused and interested me in the same way things amused and interested me when I was out on the road as a trucker.
I am still thinking about some of the things I have noticed over the first few weeks of work… I have less time for thinking in this job than I did as a trucker… But I will be writing some of my thoughts here from time to time. Hopefully my amusement will make it from my head to the page… I sometimes worry about that.
For now, I guess I will talk about something that also struck me as funny when I was in CDL driving school. Jargon! If you are a new reader, or need a refresher… You can find all the stuff about Trolley Valves and Johnson Bars here…
So far, I’ve not learned any crazy carpentry terms that amuse me… Mostly what is funny is the depth to which I have no clue about home improvement and tools. I have never been a tool man, I mean I can tell the difference between a Philips and flathead screwdriver. But beyond the most basic stuff, I’m absolutely clueless. So I’m not yet qualified with Frank to drive one of his trucks…. Maybe more on that another time… but I have also finished all the computer training I have been given so far. On Saturday we only had three delivery guys working, me and two others. They decided to only send one truck out (Which turned out to be a bad decision)… Just… Later… Anyway, I was the odd man out, so I got sent to work on the sales floor.
Now, I don’t have any trouble talking to people I don’t know, but talking to them about something I know nothing about is crazy. I know I will learn all the things eventually, but there were times when I was totally at a loss… Especially when these construction or carpentry guys come up to me asking for help finding an item. Here is a sample of what they sound like to me… This is not what they actually say, this is what it sounds like to me…
“ S’cuse me, I’m tryin’ to build a Whatsafiddle in my garage. So I’m looking for some Twiggle clamps, you know the ones you use when you Frazwat the legs? I also need a Swandle board to straighten my Harvinto. Can you help me with that?” Um… Sure… Lemmie grab my Bable Fish, Your jargon makes my brain hurt.
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